It is not enough to feel inferior. Infidels and non-Muslims have a lot of crimes that we must pay for. Groveling and inventing fantasies, like the Great Prophet Obamed's speech in Cairo, about how wonderful Islamic culture is, is certainly not enough. Neither is mass immigration into Western states designed to neuter European based cultures and wipe out rationality, pride and moral probity in the host state. No no no. We need to do more to 'bridge cultures', 'end Western Islamophobia', and put a stop to 'Jewish-American fascism'. Here is a list.

Eight things we should do now to make Muslims happy:

1. NATO should attack and destroy Israel. At least most of it. Some parts should be left functioning so that the future Arab state of Palestinia can benefit. But most of Israel and its 5 million Jews need to be killed. Peace will then reign throughout the Middle East.

2. America must immediately leave Iraq and Af-crapistan. Running away will ensure that Muslims will no longer view the Infidel Crusaders as trespassers on sacred soil. Afcrapis and Iraqis will rejoice and form their own pre-modern totalitarian systems – just like they had pre-2001 and 2003. Women, gays, Christians, and other nameless infidels will of course be better off. Terrorism will stop. The UN will smile.

3. Tar and feather anyone who criticizes Islam in Europe and North America. In the Christian-fascist states of the West, any blogger, journalist, reporter, talk-show host, talking teeth and hair TV personality, or commoner, who dares utter a profane inanity against the Muslim moon cult, must be publicly flogged, tarred, feathered, and dismembered. This will ensure that we have a polite acceptance of a different cultural perspective.

4. Mandatory Koranic and Arabic studies in all Western schools. Children are now fed endless pro-Western propaganda. This is immoral. Arabic language classes must be taught as part of cultural diversity, and the Koran needs to be memorized to show sensitivity to non-Western attitudes. Praying to Mecca should be done at least once a day in the schools as well to demonstrate humility to the diversity of world historical circumstance.

5. Public funding for Mosques and Islamic schools. A path chosen by Europe which should be extended. The results are of course entirely positive. By creating enclaves of Muslim-only education and cultural ghettoes, we will ensure that the rhapsodies of benign multi-culturalism are enshrined in our urban centers. Plus girls in bedsheets are the fashion-rage.

6. In the place of the destroyed Twin Towers of New York, we need to build Twin Mosques. American fascism was represented by the morbid Jewish-Anglo edifices of capitalistic oppression and imperialist racism. In their place the giant holes which still sit open 8 years after 9-11 can be filled in with homages to Islamic multi-cultural relevancy. After all the Great Prophet said that Islam was instrumental in developing the US over its 220 year history. The Twin Mosques ? What a great message to send to our Islamic brethren.

7. Triple the rate of Muslim immigration to the West. Only 30-40 million Muslims reside in Western and Central Europe out of a total population of 450 millions. This is immoral. Muslims make up almost 25% of the world's population. Ergo we need 113 millions residing asap in Europe and a further 80 millions in North America. This will certainly help bridge cultures and open up hope and change opportunities between the advanced and superior Muslim culture and the inferior states of the Infidels.

8. Hollywood needs to make panegyrics about Mohammed and Islam. A 'Lord of the Rings' for Muslims. Mohammed and friends fighting evil [Jews, Christians, Byzantines, Sassanids, Hindus, Russians, Buddhists, Berbers, Negroes....], and against all odds with the help of the Moon guy, setting mankind or a large part of it, onto the Sharia or right path. Pious teachings; philosophizing; the Arab 'Golden Age'; the education of non Muslim apes and pigs; the enlightenment of the world; and nary a scene of violence, rape, pillage, warring, blood-letting, racism, or slave trading will be shown. This will demonstrate a complicated and nuanced understanding of the Meccan moon cult.

These eight steps are of course only a phase one approach to healing our bloody borders and history with Islam. The totality of Islamic greatness cannot be ignored. It is peaceful, intelligent, cultured and of course was the creator of the modern world. All of our ideas, appliances, and freedoms come from Islam.

We need to recognize that fact and bow our heads to a superior culture. Muslims have to love us. That is after all the whole point of existing – to be loved is it not ?