The Atheist Creed

We believe in one God the Father named Time,
and in almighty Random Chance,
Maker of all that is, seen and unseen. 

We believe in one Lord Mutation,
the only Son of Time,
eternally begotten of the Father,
Design from Chaos, Life from non-Life,
complex information from nothing,
begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father. 

Through him all things were made. 

For us pond scum and for our salvation
Mutation came down from Darwin's heaven:
and by the Holy Spirit of Time was incarnate
in the Virgin Lucy, a 3 foot high bonobo chimp,
who made man. 

For the sake of evolving chimps, mutation was crucified under genetic laws;
he suffered death and was buried, and has stopped evolving

Yet every day he rises again
in accordance with the Evolutionary Scriptures;
and he has ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father. 

We believe Mutation will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom of turning Tulips into Teachers will have no end. 

We believe in the Holy Spirit of Time, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son. 

Who with the Father and the Son must be adored and glorified as science. 

Time has spoken through the Evolutionary Prophets. 

We believe in one holy Atheist and random chance, Church. 

We acknowledge one endless Evolutionary propaganda for the forgiveness of sins

And we look for the resurrection of positive mutations,
and the natural selection of the world to come.

 Amen.